Taken from an advert I saw on the Underground on the way into work this morning:

... Do bears relieve themselves in tree-rich environments? ...

This is obviously not a pure example of obfuscated English, as there's some sanitisation going on there as well, but it did make me wonder whether there was an obfuscated English competition, akin to the famous obfuscated C one. Surprisingly Google did not help immediately, but I did eventually find the Plain English Awards page, which despite their name also include some categories that showcase some distinctly un-plain examples (namely the Golden Bulls and Foot in Mouth awards).

My initial "unsuccessful" Google attempt, though, did take me to this rather amusing "Ode to C" (found in a /. comment, but far older I'm sure):

May your signals all trap
May your references be bounded
All memory aligned
Floats to ints rounded

Remember ...

Non-zero is true
++ adds one
Arrays start with zero
And NULL is for none

For octal, use zero
0x means hex
= will set
== means test

use -> for a pointer
a dot if its not
? : is confusing
use them a lot

a.out is your program
there's no U in foobar
And char (*(*x())[])() is a function returning a pointer to an array of pointers to functions returning char.